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Forum Anasayfa » ENGLISH / DEUTSCH / OTHER » E N G L I S H » Disease of passionate love

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Disease of passionate love

101 Mesaj -

One of the ways Satan leads human beings astray is by
making evil look good.

On this point, ibn al-Qayyim wrote the following:

'From his strategem is that he always bewitches the mind
until he can deceive the person. No one is safe from his
bewitching except whomsoever Allah wills. He makes good
looking to him what harms him the most, until he imagines
that it is the most beneficial act for himself. And he
makes him flee from the most beneficial act until he thinks
it is something harmful to him. Certainly, there is no god
but Allah. How many humans have been tested by such
sorcery. How many hearts have been kept from Islam, faith
and goodness [by such sorcery]. And how many support and
present falsehood in the best form and hate truth and
present it in the worst form [because of his deception].
And how much falseness is adorned and shown in a desirious
manner to the alert. And how much falseness is spread among
the wise. He is the one who bewitches the mind until it
follows different desires and various evil opinions. He
makes them follow every path of misguidance. He leads them
to actions, one after another, that cause their
destruction. He makes appealing to them the worship of
idols, the breaking of familial relationships, the killing
of daughters, marrying one's mother and so on. And he
promises them the victory of paradise with their
infidelity, wickedness and acts of disobedience. He
presents to them polytheism in the most honorable fashion.
And he presents rejection of Allah's attributes, of His
transcendence and of His speech in the guise of anti-
anthropomorphism of Allah. He presents abandoning ordering
good and eradicating evil in the guise of having mercy for
others, behaving with others in a good manner, and applying
the verse, "O believers, you are in charge of your own
souls" (al-Maidah 105). And he presents turning away from
what has come from the Messenger in the guise of blindly
following the Imams (taqleed) and the sufficiency of
following one who is more knowledgeable. And he presents
hypocrisy and compromising with respect to Allah's religion
in the guise of being flexible and mixing admirably with
the people.'

The Disease of Desires and Passionate Love
Shaykh ul-Islaam ibn Taymiyyah rahimahullaah

Extracted from “Diseases of the Hearts & their Cures”
Compiled by Ibraaheem bin ‘Abdullaah al-Haazimee

------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------

Miserliness and jealousy are sicknesses that lead to the
soul hating that which would benefit it, and its loving
that which would harm it. This is why jealousy was
mentioned alongside hatred and resentment in the preceding
ahaadeeth. As for the sickness of desire and passionate
love then this is the soul loving that which would harm it
and coupled with this is its hatred of that which would
benefit it.

Passionate love is a psychological sickness, and when its
effects become noticeable on the body, it becomes a
sickness that afflicts the mind also. Either by afflicting
the mind by the likes of melancholy, or afflicting the body
through weakness and emaciation. But the purpose here is to
discuss its affect on the heart, for passionate love is the
fundament that makes the soul covet that which would harm
it, similar is the one weak of body who covets that which
harms it, and if he is not satiated by that then he is
grieved, and if he is satiated then his sickness increases.
The same applies to the heart afflicted with this love, for
it is harmed by its connection to the loved, either by
seeing, touching, hearing, even think about it. And if he
were to curb the love then the heart is hurt and grieved by
this, and if he given is to the desire then the sickness
becomes stronger and becomes a means through which the
grievance is increased.

In the hadeeth there occurs, “Indeed Allaah shelters His
believing servant from the world just as one of you shelter
your sick ones from food and drink (that would harm them).”
[1]

In the hadeeth concerning the saving of Moosa reported by
Wahb[2], which is recorded by Imaam Ahmad in az-
Zuhd, “Allaah says: ‘Indeed I drive away My friends from
the delights of this world and its opulence and comfort
just as the compassionate shepherd drives away his camel
from the dangerous grazing lands. And indeed I make them
avoid its tranquility and livelihood, just as the
compassionate shepherd makes his camel to avoid the resting-
places wherein it would be easy prey. This is not because I
consider them to be insignificant, but so that they may
complete their portion of My Kindness in safety and
abundance, the delights of the world will not attract him
and neither would desires overcome him.’”

Therefore the only cure for the sick lies in his removing
the sickness by removing this blameworthy love from his
heart.

People are divided into two opinions concerning passionate
love: One group says that if falls into the category of
intentions and wishes, this being the famous opinion.
Another groups says that it falls into the category of
imagination and fantasies and that it is a corruption of
the imagination since it causes one to depict the one who
is loved in other than his true reality. This group went on
to say: “And this is why Allaah has not been described with
passionate love (ishk) and neither that He passionately
loves (ya’shik) because He is far removed from this, and
one cannot be praised who has these corrupt thoughts.”

As for the first group, then from them are those who
said: “He is described with passionate love (ishk) because
it is a complete and perfect love and Allaah loves
(yuhib).” And it is reported in the narration of ‘Abdul
Waahid bin Zayd that He said, “The servant will always
continue to draw closer to me, loving Me and I loving him
(A’shiquhoo).” This is the saying of some of the Soofis but
the majority do not apply this word to Allaah, because
passionate love is a love exceeding the proper bounds, as
for the Love of Allaah then it has no end and cannot exceed
the proper bounds. Passionate love is to be considered
blameworthy without any exceptions, it is not to be praised
when it is directed towards the Creator or created because
it is a love that exceeds the proper bounds.

This is also true because the word ‘passionate love’ is
only employed with regards to a man loving a woman or child
(or vice versa), it is not employed in things such as the
love of one’s family, property or status, just as it is not
employed with regards to the love of the Prophets and the
righteous. Commonly, you will find this word being
mentioned alongside a forbidden action, such as loving the
woman who is not lawful for him, or loving a child joined
with the unlawful glance and touch and other such unlawful
actions.

As for the love of a man for his wife or slave-girl which
leads him out of the folds of justice such that he does
unlawful things for her and leaves what is obligatory – as
commonly happens – even to the extent that he may oppress
his son born of his old wife due to this love of his new
wife, or to the extent that he will do things to keep her
happy that would harm his religion and worldly life. For
example his singling her out for inheritance that she does
not deserve, or that he gives her family authority and
property that exceeds the limits set by Allaah, or he goes
to excesses in spending on her, or he makes unlawful things
possible for her which harms his religion and worldly life.
This passionate love is forbidden with regards to one who
is permissible for him, so how would it be with regards for
one who has passionate love for someone who is unlawful or
with regards to two men? For this contains a corruption the
extent of which none can assess except the Lord of the
servants; it is a sickness that corrupts the religion and
objectives of the one who possesses it, then it corrupts
his intelligence and then his body. Allaah, the Most High,
says,

Then do not be soft in speech, lest in whose heart is a
disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an
honourable manner.[3]

There are some whose hearts contain the disease of desire
and whose perceptions are only skin deep. When the object
of the desire submits, the sickness is satiated, and this
satiation strengthens the desire and pursuit of the object
and hence strengthens the sickness. This is in contrast to
the one whose objective is not met, for this failure
results in removing the satiation that would strengthen the
sickness and thereby the desire is weakened as is the love.
This is because the person definitely intends that there be
action accompanying his desire, for otherwise all his
desire would be is just whisperings of the soul, unless
there is some speech or looking accompanying this.

As for the one who is afflicted with this passionate love
but holds back and is patient, then indeed Allaah will
reward him for his taqwaa as occurs in the hadeeth: “That
the one who passionately loves someone yet holds back,
conceals this and is patient, then dies you this, will be a
martyr.” [4] This hadeeth is known to be the report of
Yahya al-Qataat from Mujaahid from Ibn ‘Abbaas from the
Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam but it is problematic
and such a hadeeth is not to be depended upon.

But it is known from the evidences of the Sharee‘ah that if
one were to hold back from performing that which is
unlawful, be it looking, speaking or acting, and he
conceals this and does not articulate it so as not to fall
into that which is prohibited and he is patient in his
obedience to Allaah and keeping away from disobedience to
Allaah, despite the pain that his heart feels due to
passionate love, (similar to the case of the one who is
patient through a calamity), then indeed this person would
gain the same reward as those who have feared Allaah and
been patient.

Verily, he who fears Allaah and is patient, then surely
Allaah makes not the reward of the doers of good to be lost.
[5]

This holds true for the disease of envy and all other
sicknesses that afflict the heart. So when the soul pursues
that which would anger Allaah, and the person prevents
himself from this, fearing Allaah, then he is included in
His saying,

But as for him who feared the standing before His Lord, and
restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts.
Verily, Paradise will be his abode.[6]

When the soul loves something, it will do all that it can
to attain it, so the one who does this out of having a
blameworthy love or hatred then this action of his would be
sinful. For example his hating a person due to envying him
and thereby harming whosoever is linked to that person –
either by preventing his rights or by showing them enmity,
or his doing something that is commanded by Allaah but he
does it due to his desires and not for the sake of Allaah.

These types of sicknesses are commonly found in the heart.
The person can hate something and due to this hate, love a
great many things due to mere whims and fancies. As one
poet affected by this said,

"For the sake of a Sudanese girl he loved Sudan to the
point that he loved the black dogs due to his love of her".

So he loved a black girl, and therefore loved all types of
black even the blackness of dogs! All of this is a sickness
in the heart with regards to its imagination, fantasies and
desires. We ask Allaah that He eliminate all of the
illnesses from our hearts, and we seek refuge with Allaah
from evil manners, desires and sicknesses.

The heart has only been created for the worship of Allaah,
and this is the natural disposition (fitrah) upon which
Allaah created His servants as the Prophet
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said, “Every new-born child
is born upon the natural disposition and it is his parents
that make him a Jew, Christian or a Magian, as an animal
produces a perfect young animal, do you see any part of its
body amputated?” Then Aboo Hurayrah, radiyallaahu ‘anhu,
said, recite if you wish the saying of Allaah,

The Fitrah of Allaah with which He has created mankind. No
change is there in the creation of Allaah.[7] [Reported by
al-Bukhaaree and Muslim].

So Allaah has made the natural disposition of His servants
to love Him and worship Him Alone, so if the natural
disposition was to be left as it is without corrupting it,
then it would be cognizant of Allaah, loving Him Alone; but
the natural disposition does become corrupted due to the
sickness of the heart – such as the parents making it a Jew
or a Christian – even though this be by the Will and
Predecree of Allaah, just like the body is altered by
amputation. But even after this it is possible for the
heart to return to the natural disposition if Allaah makes
this easy for the one who does his utmost to return it to
the natural disposition.

The Messengers were sent to affirm and re-establish the
natural disposition and to perfect it, not to alter it. So
when the heart loves Allaah Alone, making the religion
sincerely for Him, it will not be tried with this
passionate love (directed to him) his love of Allaah Alone,
making the religion sincerely for him, did not allow him to
be overcome by this, rather Allaah said,

Thus it was, that We might turn away from him evil and
illegal sexual intercourse. Surely he was one of Our
chosen, guided slaves.[8]

As for the wife of al-‘Azeez, it was because she was and
her nation were polytheists that she was afflicted with
passionate love. No one, and no one is afflicted with
passionate love except that this diminishes his singling
out Allaah Alone for worship and his faith. The heart that
repents to Allaah, fearing Him, has two routes by which it
can remove this passionate love:

1) Repenting to Allaah and loving Him, for indeed this is
more satisfying and purer than anything else, and nothing
will be left to love along side Allaah.

2) Fearing Allaah, for indeed fear is the opposite of
passionate love and removes it.

So everyone who loves something, with passion or otherwise,
then this love can be removed by loving that which is more
beloved to compete with it.[9] This love can also be
removed by fearing the occurrence of a harm that is more
hateful to one than leaving this love. So when Allaah is
more beloved to the servant than anything else, and more
feared by him than anything else, then he will not fall
into passionate love or find any love that would compete
with his love of Allaah, except in the case of negligence
or at a time when this love and fear has become weak by his
leaving some of the obligatory duties and by performing
some of the prohibited actions. For indeed faith increases
with obedience and decreases with disobedience, so each
time a servant obeys Allaah out of love and fear, and
leaves a prohibited action out of love and fear, his love
and fear becomes stronger, and any love or fear of anything
else besides Allaah will disappear from his heart.

The same is true for the sickness of the body: for the
health of the body is preserved by the same, and the
sickness is repressed by the opposite. The correctness of
the faith in the heart is preserved by its like, meaning
that which would breed faith in the heart from the
beneficial knowledge and righteous action for these are its
nourishment as occurs in the hadeeth of Ibn Mas‘ood,
reported as his saying and as a hadeeth of the Messenger
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, “Indeed every host loves
that people come to his table spread, and indeed the table
spread of Allaah is the Qur’aan.”

So the Qur’aan is the table spread of Allaah.

From those things that nourish the heart are supplication
at the end of the night, the times of Adhaan and Iqaamah,
in his prostration, at the ends of the prayers[10] – add to
this repentance. For indeed the one who repents to Allaah
and then in turn Allaah forgives him, He will then give him
enjoyment for an appointed time. That he takes to reciting
the reported adhkaar for the day and at the time he sleeps.
That he bears with patience what he is enticed with that
would divert him from all of this, than Allaah will
immediately aid him with a spirit from Him and write faith
in his heart. That he be eager to complete the obligatory
duties such as the five prayers inwardly and outwardly for
they are the pillars of the religion. That his words of
recourse be ‘laa hawla wa laa quwwata illaa billaahi’[11]
for by them the heavy burdens can be born, horrors can be
overcome, and the servant be gifted up the supplication and
seeking help from Allaah, for the servant will be answered
as long as he is not hasty, saying: “I have supplicated and
supplicated but I have not been answered.”[12] That he
should know that help comes with patience, that relief
comes after anxiety and distress, that after every period
of difficulty there follows a period a period of ease.[13]
That he knows that no prophet or one less than him was
rewarded with a good end except as a result of his being
patient.

And all praise and thanks are due to Allaah, the Lord of
Creation. To Him belongs praise and grace for guiding us to
Islaam and the Sunnah, a praise that would suffice His
favours to us outwardly and inwardly, as in required for
the nobility of His Face and might of His Magnificence.
Abundant Peace and Blessings be upon our master, Muhammad
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, and upon his family,
Companions, his wives – the mothers of the believers, and
all those that follow them in good until the Day of
Judgement.

------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------

FOOTNOTES:

[1] A similar hadeeth to this reported by al-Bayhaqee and
it is a da‘eef hadeeth. (Refer to Fayd al-Qadeer).
[2] Wahb ibn Munabbih is a noble taabi‘ee, but this hadeeth
is reported from him directly to the Prophet
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam and is not authentic.
[3] Soorah al-Ahzaab (33):32.
[4] A da‘eef hadeeth. Refer to the discussion concerning
its inauthenticity in al-Jawaab al-Kaafee and Rawdah al-
Muhibbeen of Ibn al-Qayyim and Silsilah ad-Da‘eefah of al-
Albaanee.
[5] Soorah Yoosuf (12):90.
[6] Soorah an-Naazi‘aat (79):40-41.
[7] Soorah ar-Room (30):30.
[8] Soorah Yoosuf (12):24.
[9] Refer to Rawdah al-Muhibbeen of Ibn al-Qayyim for he
has a beautiful discussion concerning this.
[10] These are the times in which Allaah answers the
supplications, there are authentic ahaadeeth concerning
these.
[11] The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam
said, “indeed it is a treasure from the treasures of
paradise.” Reported by al-Bukhaaree and Muslim from the
hadeeth of Aboo Moosa al-Ash‘aree.
[12] Reported by Muslim
[13] A hasan hadeeth reported by Ahmad and at-Tirmidhee
from the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Abbaas

RESISTING SEXUAL DESIRE

Sexual desire is something that has been created in man and
it cannot be got rid of. Getting rid of it is not something
that is required of the Muslim; rather what is required of
him is to refrain from using it in haraam ways, and to use
it in the ways that Allaah has permitted.

The problem of desire in a young woman may be solved by
taking two steps.

The first step is to reduce and weaken the things that may
provoke desire in a person. This may be achieved in a
number of ways, including the following:

1 – Lowering the gaze and refraining from looking at that
which Allaah has forbidden. Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):

“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from
looking at forbidden things), and protect their private
parts (from illegal sexual acts)”

[al-Noor 24:31]

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: “Do not follow one glance with another, for the first
is allowed but not the second.” There are many sources of
haraam looking, such as looking directly at young men and
thinking about their attractive looks, or looking at
pictures in magazines and movies.

2 – Avoiding reading stories and novels which focus on the
sexual aspect, and avoiding reading internet websites which
deal with such topics.

3 – Keeping away from bad company.

4 – Avoiding thinking about desire as much as possible.
Thinking in and of itself is not haraam, but if one thinks
about it for too long, that may lead a person to haraam
actions.

5 – Spending one's time in useful pursuits, because spare
time may lead one to fall into haraam things.

6 – Avoiding as much as possible going to public places
where young men and women mix.

7 – If a girl is tested with studying in a mixed
environment, and cannot find any alternative, she has to
remain modest, serious and dignified, and should avoid
sitting with young men and speaking to them as much as
possible. She should restrict her relationships to
friendships with righteous female classmates.

The second step is:

To strengthen the factors that will prevent one acting in
accordance with one’s desires. This is achieved in a number
of ways, including the following:

1 – Strengthening the faith in one’s heart and
strengthening one’s relationship with Allaah. This may be
achieved by remembering Allaah a great deal, reading
Qur’aan, thinking of the names and attributes of Allaah,
and doing a lot of naafil prayers. Belief strengthens the
heart and soul, and it helps one to resist temptation.

2 – Fasting, as taught by the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) when he said: “O young men, whoever
among you can afford to, let him get married, for it is
more effective in lowering the gaze and in guarding one’s
chastity. Whoever cannot afford it, then let him fast, for
it will be a shield for him.” This is addressed to young
men, but it also includes young women.

3 – Strengthening one’s resolve and willpower, for this
will make a young woman able to resist and control her
desires.

4 – Remembering what Allaah has prepared for righteous
young women. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Verily, the Muslims (those who submit to Allaah in Islam)
men and women, the believers men and women (who believe in
Islamic Monotheism), the men and the women who are obedient
(to Allaah), the men and women who are truthful (in their
speech and deeds), the men and the women who are patient
(in performing all the duties which Allaah has ordered and
in abstaining from all that Allaah has forbidden), the men
and the women who are humble (before their Lord Allaah),
the men and the women who give Sadaqaat (i.e. Zakaah and
alms), the men and the women who observe Sawm (fast) (the
obligatory fasting during the month of Ramadaan, and the
optional Nawafil fasting), the men and the women who guard
their chastity (from illegal sexual acts) and the men and
the women who remember Allaah much with their hearts and
tongues. Allaah has prepared for them forgiveness and a
great reward (i.e. Paradise)”

[al-Ahzaab 33:35]

5 – Thinking about the lives of righteous women who guarded
their chastity, such as Maryam, whom Allaah praises in the
Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning):

“And Maryam (Mary), the daughter of ‘Imraan who guarded her
chastity. And We breathed into (the sleeve of her shirt or
her garment) through Our Rooh [i.e. Jibreel (Gabriel)], and
she testified to the truth of the Words of her Lord [i.e.
believed in the Words of Allaah: “Be!” and he was; that
is ‘Eesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary) as a Messenger of
Allaah], and (also believed in) His Scriptures, and she was
of the Qaanitoon (i.e. obedient to Allaah)”
[al-Tahreem 66:12]

And thinking about the immoral, fallen women, and comparing
between the two types, for there is a huge difference
between them.

6 – Choosing righteous companions and spending time with
them, so that they can help one another to obey and worship
Allaah.

7 – Comparing the effects of immediate fulfillment of
desire when a girl responds to haraam, which is followed by
loss of pleasure and all that is left is regret and sorrow,
with patience and striving against one’s whims and desires,
and realizing that the pleasure of conquering one’s whim
and desires is far greater than the pleasures of enjoying
haraam things.

8 – Seeking help by calling upon Allaah and asking Him for
help. The Qur’aan tells us the lesson to be learned from
the story of Yoosuf (peace be upon him):

“He said: ‘O my Lord! Prison is dearer to me than that to
which they invite me. Unless You turn away their plot from
me, I will feel inclined towards them and be one (of those
who commit sin and deserve blame or those who do deeds) of
the ignorant’

So his Lord answered his invocation and turned away from
him their plot. Verily, He is the All‑Hearer, the
All‑Knower”

[Yoosuf 12:33 – interpretation of the meaning]

Shaykh Muhammad al-Duwaysh

Gönderen: 25.12.2004 - 01:48

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